Turtle Tails
by Takashidaimao
Summary: It was just a simple little slip of the tail. While it was far from an innocent mistake, surely it couldn't lead to anything life-changing. No, surely not. Warnings: T-Cest, Adult Language, Adult Humor, Mature Themes. 2k12 Universe.
1. Mating Season

.:Author's Note: Having just finished up my last fic, I couldn't help but notice that all of my Ninja Turtles fanfictions are exceptionally dark. While I do love writing those heart wrenching tales, I thought I might step away from that for a moment and write something a bit lighter. In light of this, if you are here because you expect the same sort of atmosphere as portrayed in "His Father's War" or "A Machine for Mutants," I'm afraid you might be a tad disappointed. That's not to say I won't be writing just as eloquently as always, but this fic is intended to be a bit more on the fluffy and humorous side. That being said, there are some warnings that I must give right here off the bat; the time frame for this fic is roughly "I don't know and I don't really care," there will be T-Cest, smut, very slight genderbending, and –spoilers— eventual mpreg. Let's face it, it's essentially a crack fic, so please treat it as such. If none of these things are your cup of tea, you may wish to find something else to read. For everyone else, please enjoy!:.

* * *

March hadn't been a good month for the Turtles in recent years. They could still remember a time when it had been just another month to them, same as all the rest. Nothing to get all worked up over. But now? Now they were a bit older, their bodies grown a bit more, and it seemed that they were approaching the age when nature decided it was time to bite them in the ass.

The mood in the Lair had begun to grow tense in the past few weeks as what was now becoming a yearly ritual had come around once again. At first, it had only been Leonardo that was affected. He had been the oldest of the brothers, after all. When it had first started, poor Master Splinter hadn't been sure what to make of his son's sudden restlessness, his unusually short temper, his heightened aggression towards his brothers. In fact, it had taken Donatello nearly a month to finally deduce what was happening. It had been three years since then, since the Turtles and their Master discovered their new least-favorite term; Mating Season.

It was the second time around for Raphael, but he was determined to push it out of his mind this year. The punching bag in the living room had become his new best friend, though one wouldn't guess that from the savage way he lashed out at it. It was better than lashing out at his brothers, or even their Sensei. Hormones be damned, he wouldn't be making _that_ mistake twice. He could still remember the look of horror on Master Splinter's face at the string of expletives that had spewed forth out of his mouth before he'd had a chance to stop himself. He'd never forget the beating he received afterward. He had certain spots on his body that still ached from it.

It wasn't something the brothers liked to talk about. It was still too awkward a subject, though Splinter had assured them that it was perfectly natural. Of course, he didn't know much about reptilian reproduction, so he wasn't willing to say much more than that on the subject. That task, unfortunately, fell to poor Donatello. The one thing that they had to be thankful for was the fact that all of them were males. That at least cut down on the unequivocally awkward conversation that had to be given. After all, why discuss eggs when none of them could have any?

After that, it had just become one of those unspoken understandings among the group of them. Rule number one about mating season: you don't talk about mating season. Perhaps that was part of the reason why their human friends were rather oblivious as to what was happening. That might explain why Casey Jones hadn't hesitated to come up behind Raphael, though the turtle was clearly engrossed in his feud with punching bag, and slap a hand down on his shoulder. His next punch nearly took the human teen's head off.

"H-hey!" Casey shouted, just barely ducking under the blow. "Watch it, man! It's just me!"

That almost wasn't a good enough reason to stop, but Raphael managed to reign himself in just enough to keep from lunging at the punk. His fists shook lightly at his sides, and he glared daggers at the young man.

"Don't _do_ that!" he growled out through tightly gritted teeth. Casey raised his hands as if in surrender, taking a quick step away from the short-fused turtle.

"A-alright! Jeez, dude… I was just gonna ask if ya wanted ta watch a movie with me an' Red. No need ta bite my head off."

Raphael's eyes darted past Casey to glance at the rather confused looking redhead behind him. April glanced tentatively between the two, unsure if a fight could still break out at any moment.

"A movie..?" Raphael asked hesitantly, eyeing the rented dvd in April's hand. Okay, yeah. A movie. That might be good, actually. It might just serve to keep his mind off of other things.

"I-I'm sorry, Casey… Sure, a movie sounds great."

* * *

Casey and April led the way out into the living room, though Raphael trailed a bit behind. He couldn't help but notice that the couch wasn't exactly vacant. Leonardo sat at the far end, his nose buried deep in a historical novel – likely The Three Musketeers for the millionth time – his leg crossed conspicuously and rather tightly over the other. It was clear he was trying his best to ignore the goings on around him, just as Raph had been trying to do earlier. They each had their own methods of distracting themselves at this time of year; Raphael took it out on his punching bag, Leonardo hid behind a book, Donatello locked himself away in his lab, and Michelangelo… Come to think of it, he wasn't sure if Mikey had been affected by the urges of mating season just yet. He was the youngest of them, after all. He almost shuddered to think what it would be like when it finally hit his baby brother… Mikey during mating season just wasn't something he could conceivably picture in his mind. He just seemed too immature and innocent for all that.

April and Casey thankfully took the middle of the couch, meaning Raph wouldn't have to sit next to his brother. Their emotions always seemed to be so much more uncontrollable when they were in close proximity to another mutant turtle. It was the one time Raphael would find himself grateful that Slash was off with the Mutanimals and not around them.

He took a seat next to Casey at the opposite end of the couch from Leo, folding his arms across his chest as he awaited the start of whatever movie the two humans had rented. It occurred to him that he'd never asked what it was, nor did he really care at the moment. A distraction was a distraction, and he'd take all he could get right now.

"Sweet! New movie! Can I watch with you guys?"

Raphael's whole body seemed to go tense in an instant as the perfectly reasonable request hit his ears. He watched as Michelangelo rounded the edge of the couch, glaring with distain at the happy-go-lucky smile plastered over his baby brother's face. He gave the other turtle a menacing, almost territorial growl.

"Find somewhere else to sit, moron. The couch is full." He grumbled moodily, but even Raphael's clear bad attitude wasn't enough to deter the younger turtle. Mikey took a quick glance down the length of the couch, found that there were indeed no spots free, but didn't seem discouraged even by that. A moment later, the younger turtle plopped himself down right onto Raphael's lap.

Raph felt his eye twitch, the rage boiling over in him in an instant. How dare this annoying little prick do such a thing! Didn't he know what time of year it was?! He was all set to shove his baby brother off his lap and tear him a new one when a sudden comment from the person next to him made him stop.

"Hey, I didn't know you guys had tails!" Casey said with clear amusement in his voice. Raphael froze, his eyes wide, his hands just barely touching against the back of his brother's shell. Just how in the hell did Casey know about their tails? No, he'd just clearly admitted that he _hadn't_ known, so why would he bring it up at all? Slowly, he looked down. Sticking out from under Michelangelo's shell, lying flat against Raph's bare thigh, was a short, stubby green tail.

Raph drew in a sharp gasp, averting his eyes and pulling his hands back from where they rested against the other turtle's shell. There was a very good reason why Casey, or likely anyone else outside the brothers and their Sensei, wouldn't know that the four of them had tails. They normally kept the appendages tucked tightly against themselves between their legs, covering their most private area. It was the only way they could be discreet without having to wear clothes. Raphael swallowed hard, now painfully aware of the warmth resting against his thigh where Michelangelo sat.

By all rights, the younger turtle should have immediately tucked his tail away the instant Casey had mentioned it, excusing himself as one might do if they'd accidentally left their fly unzipped. Michelangelo did no such thing. He seemed oblivious to the comment, his eyes fixed on the movie playing in the screen in front of him. However, it was clear – at least to Raphael – that he wasn't unaware of what had happened. In fact, that little tail of his flicked slowly back and forth across the older turtle's thigh, the tip tracing a deliberate arc across the soft green skin there.

Raphael felt his heart begin to pound in his chest, his shell staring to feel quite a bit tighter on him around his lower regions. Was… Was Mikey doing this on _purpose?!_ He couldn't quite be sure, but he decided he simply had to know. He cast a quick sideways glance at the others to make sure they were focused on the movie and not on them. Once he was sure he wasn't actively being watched, he casually brought his hand up to rest on his leg in such a way that it covered his brother's tail. If Mikey had freaked out, he could have easily claimed that it was an accident. However, the younger turtle didn't budge, didn't say a word. Raphael made another attempt to swallow the lump in his throat before he slowly curled his fingers around the tail, softly stroking at the underside with his thumb.

He felt Michelangelo shudder in his lap, his legs tensing against where they straddled the older turtle's knees. Raphael quickly shot a glance over at the others, dreading that they might have taken notice of such a thing. No one seemed to have noticed. Even Leonardo was still too invested in his book to give them so much as a glance. He let himself release a sigh of relief before turning his attention back to the rather interesting situation at hand. Mikey was now looking back at him from over his shoulder, a pleading expression in those big blue eyes of his, the tip of his tail curling lightly around one of the fingers that held it.

Raphael couldn't help but fidget lightly where he sat, his eyes staring widely at his little brother. Well, he knew it was 'mating' season, but he honestly hadn't expected anything like _this_. They were all males, after all. They were supposed to be aggressive towards each other, they were supposed to be territorial. They weren't supposed to…

Raphael bit at his bottom lip, the temptation becoming too much for him to bear. He gestured lightly in the direction of Mikey's bedroom with a small nod of his head. Michelangelo didn't give any solid indication of an affirmative, but he did finally hop off of his brother's lap.

"Dude, this movie's so boooring! I'm out, bruh!" he whined as he stretched his arms above his head and let out a yawn. He then casually left the living room, making his way towards his bedroom. He only looked back once, casting a glance over at Raphael as if to say 'dude, are you coming or what?' Raphael almost immediately jumped up to his feet, cringing lightly as he feared he may have looked too eager to leave all of a sudden. He looked back at the others, giving them a weak smile.

"Y-yeah, it ain't really my thing either. I'll catch you guys later." He said, giving the others a small wave of his hand before heading off towards his own bedroom. He came to a stop in front of his door, taking a quick moment to make sure the others had gone back to watching their movie. Then, he quietly made his way over to the next door over, slipping stealthily into Michelangelo's room.

Raphael had barely allowed himself time to lock the door behind him when he pounced. Michelangelo let out a startled yelp when he suddenly felt his shell shoved back into the mattress of his bed, the older turtle on top of him in an instant. His freckled cheeks flushed a deep red as he spread his legs open eagerly, letting his brother position himself between them, his eyes staring up with the same intense pleading they held before. Raphael felt a shudder of desire course through his body as he stared down at the form lying beneath him, that look in those bright blue eyes melting what little scrap of restraint he had left. And to think he'd been dreading the day Mikey would succumb to these whims of nature… In this moment of heightened passion, he found himself wishing it had happened ages ago.

Raphael's hand soon found that tail once more, and his thumb traced up the sensitive underside until he came to the base where it connected with its owner's body. There he found the soft slit that would normally have been covered by that tail, now earnestly presented to him. He couldn't stop himself from pressing his thumb into that warm slit, immediately pulling a soft moan from Mikey. The younger turtle wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders, bucking his hips lightly against Raphael's hand, eager for more. He gave a small whine when he felt that hand slip away, but it wasn't long before he felt something bigger press into him in its place. A sharp cry of pleasure escaped from the younger turtle before he felt a hand clamp over his mouth.

"M-Mikey, shhh!" Raphael whispered harshly, though he'd only barely managed to contain a loud moan from himself. "I-if we're gonna do this, you gotta keep quiet..!"

Mikey nodded his head vigorously at that, but continued to stare up at him with desperation in his eyes, his body writhing needily beneath the older turtle. Raphael was in no mood to tease his little brother any longer – or himself, for that matter. He thrust himself in deep, feeling another pleasured cry muffle itself against his palm. He'd soon had to bury his face into Mikey's shoulder to keep his own outcries from alerting the others outside to what the two of them were doing. He couldn't bear to think of the consequences should they be discovered together like this.

Raphael continued to roll his hips in a steady rhythm, his breaths coming out hot and ragged against Michelangelo's neck. The younger turtle's euphoric mewling never ceased, despite the warnings to keep quiet. Raph could feel the arms around his shoulders pulling him close against the other's heaving plastron, his brother's legs trembling in ecstasy against his sides. It was such a warm embrace the likes of which he'd never imagined he could experience.

Michelangelo felt the hand finally leave his mouth, but before he could utter a loud cry that would have surely carried outside the room, he felt a pair of rough lips press against his own to silence him. Raphael's arms wrapped around the younger turtle's waist, pulling his hips up to a better angle. He heard Mikey moan against his mouth as his thrusts came stronger and faster, his whole body beginning to tremble in his arms. This time Raphael let out a pleasured moan against the other's lips, the euphoric sensation within him building to its peak.

Raph climaxed in the next instant, his lips pressing hard against Mikey's to keep himself from crying out loudly, his arms constricting to pull his brother's body as close as he could. Michelangelo's arms clasped tightly around his neck as he drew in a sharp gasp, his thighs clamping down on either side of Raphael's waist. A moment later, the two of them seemed to just collapse into one big, exhausted heap.

"D-dude…" Mikey eventually managed to breathe out between labored breaths, a satisfied smile spreading across his lips. "That… Was freakin' awesome! We _so_ gotta do that again!"

Raphael managed to let out a small chuckle from where he lay panting against his brother's chest. Screw his punching bag, he just found a way better way to release his pent up passions. Mating season might have just turned into the best time of the year.


	2. Instinct

Leonardo, though he'd buried his nose so deep in the book before him that he could smell what sort of tree the paper had been made from, was not _so_ absorbed in his novels that he couldn't tell when something fishy was going on. He couldn't help but peek over the edge of his Sherlock Holmes novel as Raphael strode by across the living room, a pleasant smile on his face as though he hadn't a care in the world. Leo narrowed his eyes in suspicion at his younger brother. He was acting strange. To be more specific, he was acting strange because he _wasn't_ acting strange. It was the height of mating season, yet the single most brash, most short-tempered one among them was suddenly behaving perfectly normal.

That's not to say there weren't still instances of sudden explosive territorialism, but the situations those instances had occurred in all seemed to have something in common with one another. When it was just the two of them, Raph seemed fine. Leonardo felt as prickly as ever when the other turtle was near, but Raphael hardly seemed bothered by his close proximity anymore. However, when _Michelangelo_ was around, it was an entirely different ballgame. Raphael almost immediately snapped back into his earlier aggressive mood, back to his fierce glares and his savage growling. Oddly enough, none of it was ever directed at Mikey. It was all at _Leo_ , always with Raphael quite deliberately putting himself between the two of them. Oh, and God forbid he actually try to _touch_ their baby brother. He'd nearly had his hand taken off the first time, and he'd kept out of arm's reach ever since.

Michelangelo himself seemed completely oblivious to the animalistic behaviors of his two older brothers. Leonardo couldn't help but wonder if his youngest brother had somehow developed an immunity to the urges of the season, despite clearly being old enough for them by now. Not once had he gotten snippy with any of them. In fact, Mikey seemed to be even more mellow than usual, if such a thing were possible. Even stranger was the unusual amount of time he spent in his room, quite noticeably _not_ bugging everyone. Odder still, Leo soon noticed that Raphael was never anywhere to be found whenever Mikey hid away in his room.

As much as the leader in blue enjoyed a good mystery, this one was really starting to bug the living crap out of him. He was absolutely determined to get to the bottom of this, and fast! So, he continued to watch Raphael make his way across the living room from behind the cover of his book, making sure not to stare too long in case his quarry happened to look his way. The last time Leo had chanced a look up, Raph had come to a stop in front of his own bedroom door. He pretended to be reading during the next few tense seconds, in which he just knew Raphael must be looking back at him in suspicion. Then, finally, he heard a door open and close.

Leonardo immediately jumped into action, leaving his book lying open on the couch as he dashed silently over towards his younger brothers' bedrooms. He approached Raphael's room, pressing his ear to the door to try and hear what the other turtle might be doing in there. He heard absolute silence. That was odd… Raphael had gone to his bedroom, hadn't he? Slowly, carefully, he grabbed hold of the doorknob, turning it with such deliberate care that it would be unlikely that the occupant of the room would notice unless they were staring intently at the door. He opened it just a crack, just enough to peek inside. His brow furrowed at what he saw. Raphael was… gone?

Leonardo took a quick look over his shoulders to make sure no one was watching before slipping quietly into his brother's empty room. A quick scan of the room revealed nothing unusual, nothing out of place. Well, except for the occupant, of course. Leo was left scratching his head in confusion. Just where could he have gone?

Suddenly, there was a soft bang against the wall. Leonardo looked over immediately, but saw nothing. It took him a second to realize that it must have come from the other side of the wall. Well, that didn't help. The only thing on the other side of that particular wall was Michelangelo's bedroom. Still, curiosity got the better of him, and he soon found himself crawling across Raphael's bed to get a bit closer. He pressed his ear to the cold bricks of the wall. He could hear sounds coming from the other side, but he couldn't tell exactly what they were. It was all far too muffled. He eventually cupped his hands against the wall in order to amplify the meaningless noise into something he could understand, but it didn't help much. Finally, something came through that he understood, and he immediately wished he _hadn't_. It was Mikey's voice clearly moaning out the words, "Oh God, _Raph!_ "

Leonardo pushed himself away from that wall with such force that he toppled clean off the bed with a surprised yelp. He didn't seem bothered by the tumble he'd taken, immediately scrambling across the floor to put as much distance between himself and that wall as he could, a look of complete aghast horror on his face. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to tear the memory of that sound out of his mind forever and forget he'd ever heard such a thing. Unfortunately, there wasn't a brain bleach strong enough to wipe out the unequivocally disgusting realization that had just forced itself upon him; he'd just been listening to his brothers _having sex together!_

* * *

Raphael held himself up on shaking hands and knees, his breaths still coming out in ragged pants. He stared down at the turtle still lying beneath him, at the dreamy, faraway look in those big blue eyes. Michelangelo finally seemed willing to unclamp his hands from where they had gripped the sheets beneath him, a giddy smile spreading across his lips even as he labored to catch his breath. He didn't seem to notice that his legs were still spread wide, that he was still quite exposed to the more dominant turtle above him. Of course, it was entirely possible that he'd left himself presented in such a way on purpose, that stubby little tail of his flicking happily back and forth. Raphael couldn't stop a greedy grin from spreading across his face. Oh, he'd be more than happy to ravish the younger turtle once more, to hear more of those delightful moans of pleasure that he dearly wished he didn't have to stifle. However, such raptures could wait a short while as other things were attended to.

"Hey… Ya wanna take a break for a bit and grab some lunch?" Raph asked in a low, raspy purr, still trying to catch his breath from their earlier activities. Michelangelo's answer was a disappointed whine as he fidgeted restlessly beneath the other.

"Awww, but I was just getting warmed up, man! Just one more time first? _Pleeeease?_ " he begged, shooting Raphael what he had come to know as the 'Fuck Me' look; a nearly irresistible, pleading pout. Raph let out a sly chuckle, lowering himself down against his brother and pressing himself between the other's legs just enough to elicit a delighted squeal from him.

"Okay, I'll give ya a choice…" he teased huskily just by Mikey's ear. "We can do it one more time now, or we can go at it for as long as you can hold out _after_ we have some pizza."

The proposition seemed to pull a rather conflicted whine from Michelangelo, whose body still writhed desperately where he was pinned under Raphael's plastron.

"Th-that's low, dude! Makin' me choose between pizza and sex…" he grumbled, though he looked as though he were seriously weighing the options in his head. Finally, he gave in. He almost always did.

"Alright, pizza it is… But _you're_ makin' it this time!"

Raphael let out another chuckle, lifting himself off of his little brother and rising unsteadily to his feet. Mikey followed suit with a reluctant grumble and the two headed for the door. However, as soon as Raph cracked the door open to see if the coast was clear, he suddenly felt the knob rip from his hand, the door flinging open to reveal a rather irate looking Leonardo standing on the other side. Raphael immediately jumped into territorial mode upon seeing his older brother standing there, shifting slightly to the side as to put himself more between Leo and a rather stunned Michelangelo. He bared his teeth, letting out a fierce reptilian hiss.

"You got a problem or somethin', Leo?!" he challenged immediately, taking a defiant step towards the ninja leader as he glared daggers at him. Leonardo didn't back down an inch, returning the look in kind.

"Yeah, I've got a problem, alright! I've got a problem with _you!_ Just what the hell do you two think you're doing?!"

Michelangelo seemed to duck meekly to one side of the doorway, eager to get out of the line of fire as his two older brothers geared up for another shouting match.

"I, uhh… I think I mighta been a _liiiittle_ loud that last time…" he admitted with a nervous laugh, though the other two turtles didn't seem to pay attention to him. They were far more focused on each other, a broiling rage mounting between them in no time.

"What the fuck business is it of yours what I'm doing?!" Raphael retorted angrily, his fists balling up at his sides.

"It _becomes_ my business when it's our _little brother_ that you're doing! C'mon, _really_ , Raph?! Having sex with _Mikey?!_ Have you completely lost your mind?!"

"Hey, you can't blame this one on me! _He_ started it! He practically begged me to do it!"

"And that's supposed to let _you_ off the hook?! He's your _brother!_ I can't even _begin_ to tell you all of the things wrong with this!"

"Okay, seriously, Leo… We're giant mutant _turtles!_ Name one person on the planet who gives a single flying fuck who we have sex with!"

"I'm pretty sure _Master Splinter_ would be interested in hearing about you two!"

And there was the trump card. Raphael really should have seen that one coming. His eyes widened in sudden horror, and he was immediately set on the defensive.

"Y-you wouldn't dare..!" Raph retorted, though his tone took on a more desperate note than before.

"Wouldn't I?" Leonardo shot back immediately, folding his arms stubbornly across his chest.

"C-c'mon, Leo! What's the big deal? All we're doing is blowing off a little steam! There's no harm in that!"

"Yeah, well apparently that's not the _only_ thing being blown off!"

"Hah! Nice one!" Michelangelo called out, letting out an amused chuckle at what was truly a sick burn. Then, it occurred to him a few seconds too late that such a burn included _himself_ as a participant. He finally stuck his head out from where he hid by the door, giving his eldest brother the nearest thing to a scowl his face could manage. " _Hey!_ I might be into dudes, but blowjobs are so not in my repertoire, brah!"

"U-umm… I-I beg your pardon..?"

The argument suddenly came to a screeching halt when a new voice chimed in. The three of them looked to the side where an extremely confused and mildly disturbed Donatello now stood, his mouth hanging open slightly as he glanced between his three brothers with wide eyes. He'd just rounded the corner on the way from his lab to his bedroom, but it was clear by the look on his face that he'd inadvertently stepped into the middle of a conversation he wanted no part in. Unfortunately, it was far too late.

* * *

Donatello wasn't entirely sure how he'd let himself get roped into such an argument, but there he was, sitting back in his desk chair in his lab, carefully studying the three other turtles standing before him. Raphael and Leonardo were still glaring at each other, while Michelangelo – safely behind Raph, of course – merely kicked idly at the ground and tried his best to go relatively unnoticed. The lanky turtle considered everything he'd been told – much of which he really didn't need to know – and eventually let out a sigh.

"I hate to say it, but… I gotta side with Raph on this one."

"Wait, _what?!_ " came the surprised reply from both Leonardo and Raphael simultaneously. Donnie merely shrugged his shoulders at the two.

"What's so surprising about that? Surely you guys must have figured it out by now."

The two older brothers looked at each other in confusion before shaking their heads in the negative. Donnie rolled his eyes at the ignorance of his siblings. Really, if they would just learn to look at things _logically_ rather than resorting to shouting at each other all the time…

"Okay, look… It's just simple biology. Okay, some psychology, too, but it all ties in together if you just think about it. We all know it's mating season, right? It's a time of year when emotions are running high, everyone's on edge, and we're more inclined to follow raw instinct rather than intellect… Such as it is with you guys… Well, that's exactly what Raph and Mikey have done; followed their instincts."

"Hold up a minute, Donnie…" Leo interjected, giving the lanky turtle a disbelieving stare. "Mikey and Raph are both _guys_ , and they're _brothers_ on top of it all! How the hell is that following instincts? They should be at each other's throats just like I am with Raph!"

" _Normally_ , I'd say you're right, but of course we all know that the concept of 'normal' doesn't exactly apply to Mikey. He's always been more of the submissive type – though I _really_ didn't need to know that it extended into the bedroom… He also fully admits to preferring other males. Knowing this, it wouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that he actually displays _female_ mating habits. I don't know what it is, but something in that screwball brain of his is telling his body that he's got eggs that need fertilizing and that he's gotta get a male turtle to mate with him. So, along come _you_ two, with your macho posturing and displays of dominance… How the hell else is he supposed to react? Mikey can't help but watch this and he ends up picking whichever one of you he thinks would produce better eggs – not that he actually _has_ any, he's still a guy, I just want to make that point very clear – and I guess he picked Raph."

"Hah!" Raphael barked out triumphantly, rather pleased that at least _someone_ could see that he was in some way superior to their supposed fearless leader. Leonardo, though he was reluctant to admit that such a thing had hurt his pride a bit, gave the other turtle a low growl.

"Okay, that might let _Mikey_ off the hook, but it's still no excuse for _you!_ You could have turned him down! You _should_ have turned him down! He's your _brother!_ " he scolded harshly, though Donatello raised a peremptory hand to halt any further tirades.

"I'm afraid it _does_ let him off the hook. Raph was running on instinct just as much as Mikey was. Instinct, by the way, doesn't really give a crap about familial bonds. Turtles in captivity don't hesitate to attempt to mate with their siblings if they aren't separated early enough. Furthermore, because Mikey was displaying female mating characteristics towards him, he couldn't help but react as though it was a female turtle wanting to breed with him, and… Well, you know the rest. That's also why he's so possessive over Mikey right now. He might not be consciously aware of it himself, but something in him believes that you're a potential threat wanting to take his 'mate' from him. I'm sure it'll all smooth out when the mating season starts to wind down in a few weeks, but until then, what's the harm in them fooling around a little bit? All it's really doing is getting them out of everyone's hair for a while. Seriously, Leo, just invest in a pair of earplugs, put it out of your mind, and enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts."

"Y-yeah, but…" Leonardo tried to argue further, but found he had no more decent arguments to fall back on. He let out a defeated sigh, his shoulders wilting. "Alright, fine… Just… J-just keep it down from now on! No one wants to hear that, and now that we're all in on the big secret, it'll be all _four_ of our shells through the ringer if Sensei finds out!"

Then, from somewhere behind him, Leonardo heard the last thing any of them wanted to hear at the moment. The low, slightly accented voice was smooth as silk, though it carried the tone of authority, and of very real danger.

"If Sensei finds out about _what?_ "


	3. Busted

"This is completely unacceptable!" Master Splinter barked out over the bowed heads of his two sons, his tone more livid than either of them had ever heard before. Both Raphael and Michelangelo found themselves kneeling before their Sensei, eyes downturned to stare at the mats covering the dojo floor as they reluctantly received the scolding of a lifetime. All they wanted to do at the moment was pull themselves into their shells and hide until the storm that was their father's wrath finally passed them by. Unfortunately for them, this was a storm that would not be yielding anytime soon. The mutant rat paced quickly in front of the two, shaking his head in utter disbelief at the situation he'd suddenly been faced with.

"I never thought I would have to have this conversation with you! You two are old enough to know better than this! Brothers should not be doing such things with one another!"

"Yeah, so we've been told…" Raphael grumbled under his breath. That was still Leonardo's favorite argument as well. Splinter shot his son a fierce glare for his comment.

"And so you will be told _again!_ You will be told as many times as it takes for you to understand! I will _not_ tolerate such activities in my lair! You will _never_ do this again, do you understand me? In fact, I do not want you two to come within _five feet_ of each other without direct supervision!"

This last command caused Michelangelo to immediately look up at their Sensei in horror, a desperate whine escaping from him.

"Aww, c'mon, Sensei! Y-you can't do that to us! Can't we at least have until the end of mating season?!"

" _Absolutely not!_ " was the immediate bellowed reply, causing Mikey to flinch visibly. "There will be no more sex between the two of you! Not now, not _ever!_ "

And their Master's tone made it quite clear that this would be the final word on the matter. The two turtles could only look between one another, exchanging looks of desperate longing. They had three weeks of mating season left to get through, and all without being able to lay so much as a finger on each other. This was going to be a long three weeks… for _everyone_.

* * *

"Dude, this freaking _sucks!_ And not in the fun way!" Michelangelo grumbled as the two of them made their way out of the dojo and into the living room. Raphael followed close behind, clearly just as upset about the whole thing as his brother was.

"We gotta figure out some way around this… I mean, there's _gotta_ be a way! We… We could sneak out of the lair for a while, or… I don't know!" the older of the two lamented aloud, though he couldn't begin to think of a way they could slip their activities under the radar anymore. Their Sensei would be watching the two of them like a hawk, and even when he wasn't around, there was his little watchdog to worry about…

"Hey. Five feet, you two."

Ah, speak of the Devil. The two sulking turtles looked up to see Leonardo standing before them, trying his best not to look amused, but failing miserably. A small smirk escaped onto his face as he made a motion with his hands for his two younger brothers to stand farther apart from each other. His response was a pair of glares that could have burned through steel.

"You fuckin' Sensei's pet!" Raphael growled savagely. "Everything woulda been fine if you hadn't stuck yer damn nose in our business!"

Leonardo merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Wouldn't have happened if you weren't screwing around with each other in the first place."

Raphael let out another vicious growl, his hands balling up into fists at his sides. He took a step forward, quite clearly intending to take his building frustrations out on Leo by pummeling the living crap out of him, but he was stopped when Michelangelo held up a halting hand.

"Hold up a sec, dude. Let a _professional_ take care of this." He said, his tone suddenly as calm and mellow as ever. Raphael arched a brow in confusion as he watched his little brother saunter on over to Leonardo's side. He felt his rage start to boil in him once more when Mikey put an arm around Leo's shoulders and pulled him close against his side. Just what was he planning?! He wouldn't…

"Hey, Leo! Bro! Buddy!" Mikey began sweetly, a huge grin plastered over his face. Leonardo narrowed his eyes suspiciously down at his baby brother, obviously not buying what he was trying to sell him… Whatever _that_ was.

"Don't even try it, Mikey. You're not gonna sweet talk me like you do with Raph."

"Hey, no sweet talkin' here, bro! Just, y'know… A friendly li'l _warning_ , is all…"

Now it was Leonardo's turn to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Oh, really? What kind of warning?" he asked in a patronizing tone, quite skeptical that the smaller turtle could make good on any kind of real threat. Mikey didn't seem phased by this, his grin never faltering.

"Well, y'know how I'm always pullin' pranks on you guys? Y'know how they're all usually harmless and just really, _really_ annoying? See, that's what I'm like when I'm in a _good_ mood."

Mikey paused in his explanation momentarily, and in that moment, his entire demeanor changed. The smile flashed away from his lips in an instant, his bright blue eyes reflecting the sudden frigid iciness his low, threatening voice now carried.

"I'm _not_ in a good mood anymore… And _until_ I'm in a good mood again, I'm going to make your life a _living fucking nightmare_. No more shaving cream in the hand or buckets of water on top of doors. Until I get some action, I'm gonna be out for _blood_."

Leonardo couldn't help but stare after Michelangelo as he slipped away, wandering off to plan God only knows what to throw his way. It was more the tone than the threat itself that had suddenly given the ninja leader goosebumps, that cold look in his baby brother's eyes being far scarier than even the fiercest glare Raphael could have given him. He tried to swallow the lump that had just gathered in his throat. Now he had a real dilemma on his hands. Which would yield the most unpleasant outcome; defying Master Splinter's orders to keep the two away from each other, or incurring the full brunt of Michelangelo's truly demented wrath?

* * *

The next week and a half proved to be the ultimate test of Leonardo's resolve. Both Raphael and Michelangelo were getting more restless by the day, and with increased restlessness came the increased onslaught from the younger of the two. Here he'd thought 'Dr. Prankenstein' was bad. Apparently there was another level to this side of his baby brother that he'd never imagined; Godfather of the Prank Mafia. He wasn't joking when he'd said he'd be out for blood. He'd drawn a few drops the first day when he'd hidden a bunch of caltrops under the ninja leader's bedsheets. That's about when Leo started checking literally _everything_ before sitting down on it, even if he'd only left the spot for a second. Of course, that was apparently only Mikey getting warmed up. After the powdered ghost pepper bomb that had been planted in his room the other day, he was seriously starting to wonder when he'd find a severed horse's head in his bed. The only solace he could find lately was the fact that Master Splinter had taken to locking Mikey and Raph in their respective rooms at night so they couldn't sneak out together while everyone else was sleeping. That at least gave him a guaranteed nine hours of prank-free peace each day.

Given all that had happened so far, Leonardo was understandably cautious when he made his way out of his room that morning. He opened his door slowly and carefully, making sure the action wasn't set to trigger some horrible booby-trap designed to bring him pain. He kept a vigilant eye on the ground as he stepped out of his room, a book tucked under his arm as usual. He made his way out of his room and carefully out into the living room. Raphael and Michelangelo were both out here watching TV, but they reluctantly kept their minimum of five feet distance from one another. Mikey sat alone on the couch with one leg bouncing restlessly, while Raph fidgeted by himself in his beanbag chair a short distance away. Leo narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the two, as though not trusting them to have kept that distance the entire time they'd been out there. Of course, they couldn't have gotten desperate enough to try something out here in the open… Could they?

"You two behaving yourselves out here?" he asked in a tone that attempted to convey authority, though he couldn't keep the hesitation out of his voice. Raphael merely shrugged his shoulders, his eyes never leaving the screen of the television. Leo turned his attention over to Michelangelo, who sat there with an ominous smirk and a dark look in his eyes.

"Define 'behaving.'"

Leonardo couldn't stop a shudder of dread from coursing through his body at that.

"Wh-what have you done this time?" he asked, his eyes wide with terror. Mikey just chuckled at how easily spooked his eldest brother had gotten lately, lacing his fingers together over his lower plastron as he put on his best mafia boss impression.

"Look, Leo… I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. You give me and Raph fifteen minutes alone in my room without telling Sensei, and I'll think about defusing my next prank before it hits you. Whaddaya say? Sound like a deal?"

Much to his own surprise, Leo actually found himself seriously weighing the options of that offer. It was getting to the point where he would gladly let his two brothers run off and fuck each other's brains out if only it meant an end to these increasingly unbearable pranks. The only thing that kept him from agreeing immediately was the fact that, should he be caught covering for the two of them, it was Master Splinter's wrath that loomed over his head.

"N-no way! I'm not sticking my neck out for you after the hell you've put me through this past week!" he retorted, trying to hang onto the last little scraps of his resolve he had left. Raphael let out a chuckle at that, leaning back in his beanbag chair and tucking his hands under the back of his head.

"Hey, it's _your_ funeral." He commented, a devilishly amused smirk spreading across his lips. Leonardo found himself glancing between the two uneasily. Had Raph somehow contributed to whatever horror lay waiting for him today? How could they have coordinated something without being able to get much closer than two meters from one another? Leo backed away from the pair slowly, not willing to take his eyes off them for a second as he made his way into the kitchen. The two didn't budge, but that was no indication that he was safe from their dastardly scheming.

Once in the kitchen, Leonardo set about his now daily task of inspecting everything. Cabinets, stools, the sink, the fridge. Nothing could be considered safe anymore. He even gave Ice Cream Kitty a suspicious glare, as though he thought she might be in on the whole conspiracy. He searched for a solid ten minutes, yet he came up with nothing. No evidence of carefully laid traps, no concealed strings on drawer handles, no containers left out of place. Rather than be reassured by this, Leo only felt even more nervous.

He peeked out into the living room again. Both of his brothers were still right where they'd been when he left, still occupying themselves with whatever it was that they were watching on TV. He narrowed his eyes at them, but returned to the task that had brought him into the kitchen in the first place. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and seated himself on one of the stools surrounding the center island counter, laying his book open in front of him to read. He'd moved onto reading The Lord of the Rings this time, and he was already about halfway through it. It was rather unfortunate that Leo had been in the middle of taking a big gulp of juice when he'd turned the page and discovered that it was his own _book_ that had been sabotaged, not the kitchen.

Leonardo choked, spitting out the mouthful of juice he'd been about to swallow as he was suddenly sent onto a coughing fit. Even through all this, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the altered page in his book, his entire face turning beet red in an instant. The text of the page had been almost completely covered over by a picture of a nude woman that had clearly been cut out of a pornographic magazine, her legs spread wide and not a thing on her censored. As if that hadn't been shocking enough, it seemed someone had taken the liberty of pasting a picture of _Karai's_ face over that of the original model.

"J-Jesus fucking Christ! _Mikey! Raph!_ " Leonardo shouted as soon as he could get enough air in his lungs to do so. Unfortunately, the voice that addressed him from the kitchen door belonged to neither of his two scheming brothers.

"What is the matter, my son?"

Leonardo drew in a sharp gasp when he heard Master Splinter's voice call to him from behind him, a chill of dread spreading over him so quickly that he might have thought his blood had turned to ice in that moment. He scrambled frantically to cover the altered page of the book that still lay open on the counter, snapping it shut and hiding it behind his shell as he turned to face his Sensei, his cheeks still flushed a bright red.

" _N-nothing!_ Nothing at all, Sensei!"

Meanwhile, Michelangelo and Raphael had jumped immediately into action the second they heard the commotion in the kitchen. Mikey vaulted over the back of the couch, sprinting as quickly and as stealthily as he could towards his bedroom, Raph following him close on his heels. If all went as planned, both Leonardo and Master Splinter would be quite preoccupied with other atrocities to remember to come checking on the two of them for a while. They were almost to the door, victory almost within reach, when Raphael was suddenly jerked backward by the tails of his mask. The turtle let out a startled yelp as his feet flew out from underneath him, his shell slamming against the ground below him with a resounding thud. As soon as he was able to make the world stop spinning about him, he found himself staring up into the furious face of his father. He let out a defeated groan.

"Aww, _man_ … So damn close…"

* * *

Following their foiled plot, the two turtles immediately found themselves confined to their separate rooms, their doors securely locked from the outside. Raphael was still grumbling angrily to himself as he plopped himself into his bed.

"Well, _that_ worked like a charm… Ya got anymore bright ideas, dumbass?" he growled in frustration, raising his voice just loud enough that his brother could hear him from the other side of the brick wall that separated their bedrooms. The reply was slightly muffled by the thick barrier between them, but he heard Mikey's answer clearly enough.

"Gaaah, that was supposed ta be my trump card! I'm fresh out of ideas, and if I don't get a good fuck in soon, I'm gonna _explode!_ The struggle is real, dude!"

Raphael let out a sigh at that. Even worse than being separated like this, he knew that his brother must be lying on his bed just on the other side of the wall. Less than a foot separated them, but they were just as far from touching one another as they had been out there with Leonardo babysitting them. He pressed his hand against the wall, as though his longing alone would be enough to let him pass through to the other side. No such thing happened, and he soon felt himself drifting off to sleep, his pleasures now having to confine themselves to the prison of his dreams.

* * *

Raphael wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, but he was abruptly ripped out of his restless slumber when he felt a weight drop itself down over his lower abdomen. He awoke with a discomforted grunt, his eyes peering down through the darkness to see what had landed on him. It took his eyes a moment to adjust enough to make out a pair of very familiar thighs straddling his waist.

" _M-Mikey?!_ How in the hell did you—"

"Shhh!" came the urgently whispered reply. "There were loose bricks in the wall under our beds. I pulled 'em out and crawled through."

Raph could only stare up at his brother through the dark, an astounded look on his face. Well, Michelangelo certainly was determined, he'd give him that. Of course, now wasn't the time to dwell on hows and whys, not when they'd lucked out with such a perfect opportunity. Besides, Mikey was starting to squirm a bit where he sat, a small whine signaling that the younger of the two had been waiting long enough as it was. Raph had no plans in delaying any longer, having been deprived for just as long.

Raphael sat up and wrapped an arm around Michelangelo's waist, keeping him firmly planted in his lap as he turned to rest his shell against the wall. Mikey braced his hands against the other turtle's shoulders as he adjusted himself into a better position. He felt something warm and slick brush lightly against the underside of his tail, and he slowly lowered himself down over it. He bit at his bottom lip to stifle a pleasured whimper at the feeling of Raphael filling him once more, his grip on the other turtle's shoulders tightening at the sensation.

Raphael let out a shuddering breath as he felt Mikey's warmth surround him. It was the highest level of sound he could allow himself to make. They absolutely couldn't be heard this time, not if they wanted to keep their new entrance into each other's rooms a secret. Even with silence as a priority, Raph couldn't help but press his luck a bit. He ran his hands along the smaller turtle's smooth thighs, gripping lightly at those hips of his and gently pulling him further down over himself. Mikey tucked his head under his brother's chin, muffling an elated mewl hotly against the other's neck.

Since it was Michelangelo's strange brand of ingenuity that had gotten them this far, Raphael was content to let him call the shots this time. The smaller turtle was more than happy to do so, moving his hips up and down in a slow, deliberate manner, drawing out each euphoric movement for as long as he dared. Raphael actually had to cover his own mouth to keep himself quiet from the sensations this newfound pace was sending through his body. He had to resist the temptation to thrust himself deep into the other turtle's body, knowing it was those sharp movements that pulled out the loudest cries. No, he would let Mikey continue this unhurried rhythm, concentrating on not letting himself moan too loudly from it. He couldn't help but wonder why they'd never done it like this before. It was so different from the way they normally had sex. It was somehow more… _Intimate_.

Michelangelo kept his face nuzzled against the crook of Raph's neck, using it to muffle what soft noises managed to escape from him. He shifted his arms slowly to wrap around his older brother's neck, pulling himself closer and pressing their plastrons against each other. He fought the knee-jerk urge to go faster, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep quiet if he did. Besides, this way felt so much better, a shudder of pleasure rushing through him each time he felt Raphael penetrate slowly, deeply into him. He wanted to drag it out for as long as he could, he wanted it to last forever. If they somehow got caught again, he at least wanted their last time to be one hell of a time.

Raphael could feel Mikey's body starting to tremble in ecstasy in his lap, could feel the hot breaths against his neck become more ragged and uneven. He was somewhat relieved by that. He was finding it hard to last much longer, and he didn't want to disappoint. Though his confidence in keeping himself quiet was wavering, he let his hand leave his mouth so he could grip the younger turtle's hips once more. He took the reins as his brother's control began to falter, thrusting himself into him in the same slow, gentle rhythm the other had set from the beginning. It wasn't much longer before he felt Mikey tense around him, a pleasured moan muffling itself against his neck as they climaxed together.

Raphael let his head rest back against the wall as he panted as quietly as he could, his arms wrapping themselves around Michelangelo in a loving embrace. Mikey seemed to nuzzle even closer against his older brother's neck, letting out a satisfied reptilian purr. Raph let a warm smile spread across his lips.

"Man, I aughta let you be on top more often…" he commented softly as he gently stroked the back of Mikey's shell. He expected some sort of clever retort. Instead, he heard a soft snore. His brows furrowed as he looked down at the smaller turtle that had practically melted against him, his legs still straddling his hips but his eyes most definitely closed. Had he just fallen asleep?! Raph was tempted to shake his younger brother awake, but quickly thought better of it. Oh well. He was pretty worn out himself. What harm could a little nap do?

* * *

It was a few hours later when Master Splinter finally made his way across the Lair towards the two imprisoned turtles' rooms. He failed in finding out just what it was that Leonardo had been shouting about earlier, but he wasn't terribly worried about it. Whatever it had been, he was sure that Michelangelo was somehow to blame. It was odd how vehemently his eldest son had refused to explain what had happened, though…

But that was a mystery for another time. It was dinner time and he at least needed to let Michelangelo and Raphael out to eat and take care of other business. He started at the younger turtle's room, unlocking the door and throwing it open.

"Michelangelo, it's time for di—" he cut himself off abruptly. The room was empty, his son nowhere to be found. His bushy white eyebrows hunched low over his golden eyes, an angry growl already building in his throat. He immediately dashed out of the room to the next door over, unlocked it, and flung it open. Sure enough, there lay two mutant turtles in Raphael's bed, their arms still wrapped loosely around one another as they slept. The ninja master's hands clenched into fists at his sides.

" _Michelangelo! Raphael!_ " Master Splinter barked out harshly, immediately waking the two sleeping bedmates with a start. They both let out a panicked shout, rushing to untangle themselves from each other's embrace. Of course, it was far too late for that. They'd already been caught red handed, and they had nowhere to run.

* * *

Once again, both Michelangelo and Raphael found themselves kneeling before their Sensei in the dojo, the sense of doom hanging heavy over their heads. They had no clue what sort of punishment lay in wait for them. Master Splinter had never specified what it would be. Still, there was no questioning the fact that it would be bad. The ninja master stood over his two young students, glaring down at them disapprovingly.

"It seems the two of you are quite determined to disobey me in this. Therefore…" He began, and the two turtles cringed in anticipation of what would come next. "… Do what you will."

Both Mikey and Raph immediately turned a pair of shocked expressions up towards their Master.

"W-wait… Are you _serious?!_ Y-you're just gonna let us do it?!" Raph exclaimed in absolute astonishment, his heart bounding in his chest. Had he really heard that right?! Master Splinter let out an exasperated sigh, his ears folding back against his head as he rubbed at his temples with the tips of his fingers.

"I _still_ disapprove of such things… But trying to stop you two from doing such things is proving to be far more trouble than it is worth. And I am getting to old to deal with this sort of thing…" he replied, mumbling that last bit mostly to himself. "But you are not to let it interfere with your normal responsibilities. Your duties and training comes first. Understood?"

"Y-yes sir!" the two of them replied hastily at once, and a moment later it seemed they had already dashed out of the dojo. Master Splinter let out a frustrated groan, covering his eyes with his hand. What monsters had he unleashed upon the world by essentially giving those two consent for their activities?


	4. Unexpected Concequences

Leonardo had never before been so grateful that mating season was finally over. Admittedly, it hadn't been that bad since Master Splinter finally caved in and let Raphael and Michelangelo have their fun together. The insufferable pranks stopped at once, and there was a measurable amount of peace and quiet for most of the day as the two of them hid away together in one of their rooms.

Of course, as the season drew to a close, that peace was starting to die down again. Donatello had been right when he'd said things would go more or less back to normal when it was all over with. Even Raph and Mikey were out and about just as much as they would be normally, and one would have never guessed that anything had happened between the two of them at all. Well, except for the fact that they tended to prefer sleeping in the same bed now, even though the desire to do anything beyond that was more or less nonexistent. That was another small relief to Leo. At least such distractions would only be occurring two months out of the year. He decided he'd much prefer his brothers to get those urges out of the way all at once rather than having to deal with it constantly.

Leo was currently watching TV with Donatello, who finally dared to emerge from his lab only after they were all sure mating season was over. It occurred to the elder brother that he had no idea what Donnie's behavior was like in the spring. He supposed that was the entire point of the lanky turtle locking himself away during that time; he didn't want to get caught up in the drama. A wise move, as expected of the scientist among them, but one that hadn't gone unnoticed by others.

"Oh, hey Donnie!" came a voice from behind the two of them as Casey Jones vaulted over the back of the couch, plopping himself between the two turtles sitting there. "Long time no see, man! Feels like I haven't seen you out here in ages! Were you workin' on some big new invention or somethin'?"

"N-no, I, uhh… I just needed some alone time… My lab was the only place I could really hide while Mikey was off on his rampage a few weeks ago." Donatello replied, feeling absolutely no shame in using Michelangelo's earlier prank war with Leonardo and an excuse for his absence. It was so much less embarrassing than having to explain what had really been going on around there for the past couple of months.

"Oh yeah. Man, that was freakin' _crazy_. What the hell was Mikey's deal, anyway? I've never seen him be that brutal before. It was kinda cool." Casey asked with a slight grin, to which Leo couldn't help but shudder in horror at the memories of that hellish week and a half.

"It's… It's complicated…" Donnie mumbled before quickly diverting the subject. "Hey, where's April? Did she come down with you?"

"Yeah, but she's in the dojo training with Splinter. She's been wonderin' about you, by the way."

"Sh-she _has?!_ " he blurted out in surprise, his cheeks suddenly flushing a light red. Ah, and now Leonardo could see the _other_ reason why Donatello had elected to hide himself away. Had he been out here when April was visiting, he'd have been courting her harder than ever, likely freaking the poor girl out to the point of hating him. It would have been a sure-fire way to completely ruin his chances with the lovely redhead once and for all.

It was at about that point when the door to Mikey's room finally swung open, though it was Raphael who walked out with a groggy yawn. Such an inconsistency was not beyond a certain human's notice, unfortunately, and Casey couldn't help but raise a confused eyebrow at the red-masked turtle as he walked by.

"Dude, did you and Mikey switch rooms or somethin'?" he asked as Raph plopped himself down on the couch on the opposite side of Donatello, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to…" was his grumbled reply. Casey was left even more confused than ever by this reply, and by the fact that the other two turtles he sat with didn't seem to have any problem with this.

"About damn time you woke up. It's almost noon, y'know." Leonardo scolded lightly, though Raph's only retort to this was a careless shrug of his shoulders.

"Speaking of which, where's Mikey? Is he still asleep?" Donatello added, ignoring Casey's increasingly questioning looks.

"Let 'im sleep for a while longer. He ain't feeling well." Raph replied as he picked up the TV remote and began flipping through channels. Now it was Leo's turn to finally look confused.

" _Again?_ I thought he got over that yesterday."

"I thought so, too. I dunno, it's weird. He's been sick as a dog when he first wakes up, but later on in the day he's fine. S'been like that for over a week now."

"And you don't feel sick at all?" Donnie questioned, his interest in the conversation increasing by the second. If there was some stomach flu going around the Lair, he had to start trying to head it off now before everyone else caught it. Raph merely shrugged his shoulders again.

"I feel _fine_. Whatever it is, I haven't caught it yet. You sure it's not just something he ate?"

"Mikey the Iron Stomach? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's immune to food poisoning at this point. I mean, you've _seen_ what he eats." Donatello replied, scratching at his chin thoughtfully. He then rose from his seat, starting off towards Michelangelo's room. "I'm gonna go check on him. The last thing we need around here is some virus making us all sick."

* * *

Donatello had managed to drag Michelangelo into his lab and was currently running tests for every viral and bacterial infection he could think of. Raphael hadn't been kidding when he said their younger brother had been sick as a dog. Mikey had been so nauseous that he couldn't hardly walk straight on his own. Oddly enough, about an hour later, the turtle now seemed as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as ever. Well, after he'd puked, anyway. Donnie was still going to keep that bucket nearby, in any case.

"Dude, why is this takin' so long? I'm _starving!_ " Mikey grumbled impatiently from where he sat on the edge of Donnie's examination table, his legs swinging restlessly over the edge. Donatello let out an aggravated sigh, having been asked that very question no less than a dozen times already.

"These blood tests take time, Mikey. I can't let you out of here until I know what you've caught. We can't have you running around infecting everyone before we can keep the others from catching whatever it is you have."

"Aww, man…" the younger turtle complained, flopping back against the exam table to stare idly at the ceiling. He then looked over towards the door just in time to catch Master Splinter walking into the lab, April following close behind.

"What is wrong, Donatello? I have heard that Michelangelo is unwell." Their Sensei asked as he made his way over to where his apparently ill son lay. He arched a bushy brow at the young turtle's lively demeanor. He certainly didn't _look_ unwell.

"I honestly have no clue, Sensei. All of the tests I've run so far turn up negative for infection. In fact, the only thing out of the ordinary in his blood are some wonky hormone levels, but that's to be expected this soon out of ma—" Donnie cut his explanation off suddenly, having become quite aware of April's presence in the room. His cheeks flushed a bit and he cleared his throat, looking away meekly as he continued awkwardly. "W-well… _Y'know_ …"

Master Splinter cast his eyes town at Michelangelo once more, who merely looked up at him with a nervous grin and a shrug of his shoulders. The rat was starting to suspect that his son was probably faking it for some unknown reason, perhaps to get out of chores or something. However, there was always the chance that he wasn't. He closed his eyes, his hand hovering over the turtle's plastron as he attempted to sense any disruption in Michelangelo's chi flow that might suggest something out of the ordinary. Much to his surprise, he sensed something, his palm drifting down to hover over his son's lower abdomen.

"Donatello… I sense a disruption in his chi in this area. There is something _inside_ him."

"Inside him? What the heck could be inside him down _there_ that—"

" _Alienoids!_ " Mikey shouted suddenly, cutting off Donatello's questioning as he sat bolt upright in horror. "Dude, it's just like in my comics! Some creepy space things musta found their way down here and infected me! They're probably replicating inside me right now and are gonna explode outta my _butt!_ "

Donatello rolled his eyes at this little brother's sudden leap right out of the realm of logic, but couldn't stop a sardonic smirk from spreading across his lips.

"Hey, after Raph, you should be used to things like that up there by now…" he mumbled to himself, though apparently not quietly enough that April couldn't overhear.

"Ummm… _What?_ "

"N-nothing. Forget it." Donnie dismissed hastily, turning back to his Sensei to avoid having to explain his little stab at Mikey. "Can you tell what it is?"

"No…" Master Splinter replied with a small shake of his head, now clearly worried for his son. "I can only sense the block in his chi. I do not know what causes it."

"Hey, maybe I can try." April offered. "My mental powers have gotten a lot stronger. I might be able to sense something you can't."

Master Splinter nodded, stepping back to allow the girl to examine Michelangelo in his place. Mikey laid back down, his own imagination making him suddenly very nervous as April placed her hand over the spot that the ninja master had indicated a moment ago, her eyes closing in concentration. A moment later, her face scrunched up in utter bewilderment.

"Wow, you guys' internal organs are in some _seriously_ weird places… Why the hell is your liver all the way up _there?_ "

"Yeah, I get it; turtle anatomy is screwed up… Can we maybe focus on the issue at hand here?" Donatello urged impatiently, crossing his arms over his own plastron and suddenly looking very self-conscious. April did he suggested, focusing her mind on the spot in question.

"I… I definitely sense something… I think there might be two… No, definitely _three_ … They look like spheres, about the size of softballs." She said slowly, to which Mikey let out a small whine.

"I'm tellin' ya, D! It's Alienoids!"

Donnie furrowed his brows at this new information. Three spheres? What in the hell could that be? He was about to ask what organ they were located near, but he thought better of it. She wouldn't know what any of it was. Instead, he retrieved a book from his desk on their pre-mutation parent species; the three-toed box turtle. He set it on the edge of the examination table at Mikey's side and flipped open to a page that had detailed illustrations of the internal anatomy of a pair of turtles.

"Okay April, any way you can point to exactly where you sense these objects?"

April looked over the illustrations for a long moment, occasionally glancing back at Michelangelo's abdomen as if double-checking the position. Then, she placed a finger on one of the diagrams. Donatello glanced down at where she pointed, his face turning red almost instantly. She was pointing to the diagram of the female turtle, which wouldn't normally make a difference, except that she'd pointed to one of the few organs that were decidedly _absent_ in male turtles. He let out a nervous laugh. Surely she must be joking.

"Umm… Very cute, April… Now how about you tell me where it is on _this_ diagram?" he asked in a low tone as he pointed to the male turtle on the other page, far too embarrassed to actually explain the mistake she'd made. April examined the page for a long moment, but eventually shook her head.

"It's not on that one. Only the first one."

Donatello stared at her for a while, his eyes widening as all of the pieces started falling into place in his mind. It was all starting to make sense now; Mikey's slightly smaller size than the rest of them, his submissiveness, his abnormal behavior during mating season, and now his intermittent nausea…

"Oh no… No no no no no…" he mumbled frantically to himself, shoving the book aside and brushing past April in what almost amounted to a panicked state. He pressed his fingers against Michelangelo's side just above his hip, pulling a sudden squeak from his younger sibling.

"D-dude, that tickles!"

"H-hold still, dammit!" Donnie barked out a bit more forcefully than he might normally have, trying to carefully feel inside his brother's abdomen from the only spot in the area that wasn't covered by hard bone plating. He could just barely feel the smooth surface of one of the spheres April had mentioned, a chill of dread washing over him as he realized what it was.

"What is it, my son? What is wrong?"

Donatello glanced up at his Sensei, a new feeling of dread rising up in him. How in the hell was he going to explain _this_ one to their concerned father?! A nearly hysterical smile spread over the lanky turtle's face, and he let out a high-pitched laugh of pure terror to match.

"U-uhh… W-well, Sensei… S-see, it's like this…" he stammered out, trying in vain to delay the inevitable. He swallowed hard. He just had to get this over with as quickly as possible. "R-remember how the guy at the pet store told you we were all boys? H-he, uhhh… He might not have been _entirely_ correct in that assumption…"

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait…" Casey said in disbelief, holding up a hand to stop the intensely weird conversation that he'd gotten himself into with the two remaining turtles. "So, lemmie get this straight… Raph's been screwing Mikey for like the last month, and Mikey was on the warpath because Leo was cock-blocking you guys..?"

Raphael couldn't help but blush brightly when the human teen summed it all up that way, his arms folded over his chest as he tried his best to avoid eye-contact with the others.

"Th-that's 'bout the gist of it…" he mumbled out reluctantly. Casey stared at him for a long moment, his mouth hanging slightly open in shock.

"Dude…" he whispered out, seemingly unable to find anything more meaningful to say. Then, he scooched a bit closer to Raph, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "… What did it feel like?"

"L-like I'd tell _you_ , ya pervert! I don't fuck and tell, man!" Raphael shouted, suddenly looking more flustered than he ever had before. Leonardo couldn't help but let out an amused chuckle at the new predicament Raph had found himself in with their overly-curious human friend. However, his smile was soon wiped away when a truly furious bellowing echoed throughout the Lair from Donatello's lab.

" _RAPHAEL!_ GET IN HERE, _NOW!_ "

The two turtles sat frozen in terrified silence for a long moment, their eyes wide with fear. They had never heard their Master even _close_ to this angry before, not even when he'd first found out about Raphael and Michelangelo's relationship. Leonardo slowly turned his gaze to his brother, knowing that, surely, this was a dead turtle he was looking at.

"I don't _know_ you. I've never _met_ you. I have absolutely _nothing_ to do with whatever you did." He declared softly, as though that would save him from becoming collateral damage in the ultimate explosion of their father's rage. He then climbed over the back of the couch and dashed off into his room to hide, not wanting any part in what was to come. Raphael hadn't even seemed to notice how readily his older brother abandoned him, his eyes fixed on the door from which that call to death had issued forth. He rose shakily to his feet, his entire body trembling in fear as he started on the long walk to what surely must be his execution. The worst part was that he had absolutely no idea what he could have possibly done to raise such a murderous bellow from his Master.

* * *

When Raphael slipped reluctantly into Donatello's lab, he found himself stared at by four pairs of eyes, each holding a rainbow of differing emotions. Master Splinter was, of course, positively fuming, his fists shaking with anger at his sides as he glared down at his second oldest son. Michelangelo sat on the edge of the examination table with his arms clasped tightly around his abdomen, looking as though he wanted to just curl up and disappear even as he gave his mate a deeply apologetic look. April was a mixture of confusion and shock, staring at Raph as though she'd just learned something about him that she'd never wanted to know. Donatello's entire demeanor could be summed up in two words: 'Why me?'

Master Splinter marched forward and snatched at the tails of Raphael's mask, dragging him forward as one would do to a human child by the ear.

"O-ow! Sensei, what the hell did I _do?!_ " he asked frantically, but his Master didn't reply. He seemed far too furious for words at the moment. The next thing he knew, he was standing in front of Mikey, who looked as though he was in just as much trouble. He then felt his Sensei take a firm hold of his wrist, his hand being maneuvered to press against his brother's side. Mikey let out a small grunt of discomfort, though he stared up at Raphael with that same fearfully apologetic look in his eyes, silently mouthing the words 'I'm sorry…'

"Do you feel that, Raphael?! Do you have any idea what those _are?!_ " the rat hissed out lividly through tightly gritted teeth, which was quite possibly the only way he could speak at the moment while retaining some fleeting semblance of control over his boiling rage. Raph couldn't bring himself to reply, his eyes staring down in utter horror at his little brother. No, they couldn't be… Were those… _Eggs?!_ He quickly looked over to where Donnie stood, looking for some sort of indication that he might be wrong. The lanky turtle merely shrugged his shoulders lightly.

"I, uhhh… I hope you're ready to be a dad, Raph. Mikey's _pregnant_."


	5. Anatomy Lessons

Casey Jones slowly cracked open the door to Leonardo's bedroom, cautiously peeking inside. He didn't see anyone, but what did he expect? Leo was hiding, after all. When a ninja didn't want to be found, you weren't going to find him. Still, he knew he was in here… _Somewhere_.

"Yo, Leo? You, uhh… You might wanna come out here."

"N-nope!" came the quite shaken reply from… Well, Casey couldn't really tell _where_ it had come from. The human teen raised an eyebrow at the ninja leader's sudden uncharacteristic cowardice. Was Splinter really so mad that even someone who had nothing to do with the matter at hand needed to be _this_ afraid? Maybe he should consider bailing for now. No, no… From what little he'd heard from the other side of the door to Donnie's lab, this shit was about to get really interesting. Too interesting for him to leave now, and too interesting for him to keep to himself.

"Seriously, dude, you're gonna wanna hear this shit. I heard them shoutin' something about Mikey being pregnant."

He wasn't sure precisely _where_ the turtle had materialized from, but Leonardo was suddenly in the doorway within the time it took the human to blink his eyes.

"I'm sorry, _what_ did you just say?!" he practically roared, causing Casey to raise his hands up and take a few steps back from the door.

"Woah, man! Don't shoot the messenger! I'm just tellin' ya what I heard!"

Leonardo stood there for a long while, frozen in utter disbelief. Could Casey be telling the truth? No, perhaps the better question would be 'was Casey fucked in the head enough to be able to make something like that up?' He decided no one could be quite _that_ crazy, and he soon dashed out of his room towards Donatello's lab, Casey following close on his heels. Their advance was halted momentarily when the door to the lab was flung open, a still very livid Master Splinter marching out, growling something almost assuredly explicit under his breath in his native Japanese. The two darted to the side to let the ninja master pass, but he seemed to be far to occupied with his own anger to even acknowledge them there. They waited until Splinter had made his way back to his dojo before proceeding into the lab.

The first thing Leonardo noticed when he walked in was Raphael. He was sitting in Donnie's computer chair, his elbows resting on his knees, a hand covering his mouth, and his eyes wide with shock as they stared off into space. The eldest of the turtles let out a sigh that was almost pitying. Yeah, that was about the face he'd have expected his brother to have upon hearing this particular brand of news. Maybe Casey _had_ heard correctly after all. Of course, that thought led him to immediately shift his gaze to Michelangelo. He was still sitting on the examination table, looking as though he was two seconds away from tucking himself into his shell and snapping it closed around himself for a solid year. These two had done some messed up things before, but this was certainly a new one.

"Okay, ummm… Donnie? Explanations?" Leo asked hesitantly, unwilling to ask after the subject specifically, just in case Casey really _was_ that crazy. Donatello rubbed at the back of his neck, an awkward smile forcing itself on his lips.

"Yeah, so… Not _exactly_ the way I'd thought we'd become uncles, but… I dunno what else to say. Mikey's going to be laying eggs in a little over two months."

"T-two months?! That's _it?!_ " Raphael shouted as he jumped back up to his feet, suddenly finding his voice again. He stared at the lanky turtle with a look of horror. He thought they'd at least have longer than just two short months to prepare for something like this! Donnie's reply was a shrug of his shoulders.

"Sorry, Raph. Box turtles have about a three month gestation period before they lay their eggs. Judging from how big Mikey's eggs have grown, I'd say he's close to three weeks along already."

"Woah, wait, hold up a second!" Casey interjected, holding up his hands as though to halt any further conversation on the matter. "Either I'm missin' somethin' here, or I fail at biology for life. Isn't Mikey a _guy?_ How in the hell can a guy lay eggs? That's a chick thing, isn't it?"

"Look, I have no idea how it happened." Donnie began with a reluctant groan, clearly having already been over this when Master Splinter was in there. "For all I know, some punk kid at the pet store might have thought it would be funny to see what would happen if he put a female turtle in the male turtle tank, and Sensei just happened to pick that one by mistake."

"Yeah, but… It's gotta be pretty obvious to you guys. I mean, there's kinda a _big_ difference in some pretty important equipment down there. How the hell do you go seventeen years without noticing that your little brother's really a _girl?_ " Casey retorted, to which Donatello could only give him a withering glare.

"The only thing that's obvious here is that you have _no_ idea how reptile anatomy works, much less _turtles_. Our reproductive organs are all kept _internally_ until mating, _males_ included. In fact, mammals are the only class of animals that are _stupid_ enough to keep their 'equipment' on the outside. Besides that, our mutation has more or less _eliminated_ any other possible method of external gender identification for our species. _None_ of us have the orange and red spots on our necks and head that would normally be on males, _none_ of us have indented plastrons, and _none_ of us have red eyes!"

"What color eyes do girl turtles usually have?" Mikey asked, his curiosity pulling him out of his sulking a bit.

"Females have brown eyes." Donatello replied, almost as if reciting off a fact sheet in his head. Perhaps that's why it didn't really click in his mind right away. He looked around at the others in mild confusion when they all suddenly seemed to be staring at him. April even had to cover her mouth to stifle a small snicker. His brow furrowed, and he finally became bothered enough to ask the question.

" _What?_ "

"D-dude…" Casey began, having a much more difficult time trying to hold back his laughter than April was. " _You_ have brown eyes!"

Donatello had immediately opened his mouth to retort to that, but he stopped himself, his eyes widening in realization. He _did_ have brown eyes.

"O-oh, sewer apples…" he breathed out in horror. He then abruptly turned from the group, dashing over to one of his supply cabinets in search for some long-unused piece of equipment. Casey took this opportunity to turn his grinning face back to Michelangelo.

"So, what do we call _her_ now? She can't still be 'Mikey,' that's a guy's name."

"Oh, hell to the _no_ , dude!" Mikey exclaimed, finally hopping down off the examination table and marching up to the human teen. "I ain't no 'she,' and I ain't no 'her!' I'm still _Mikey!_ I'm the same _dude_ I've always been!"

"Yeah, but… You're pregnant. That would be so freakin' weird still callin' you a guy when you're about to be a _mom_." Casey retorted with a teasing smirk. That smirk was instantly wiped off his face when the shorter mutant grabbed hold of the collar of his vest, pulling him down to glare at him at eye level.

"Then I'll _be_ freakin' weird! I don't care how many eggs I have, I'm not gonna be called a damn _girl!_ You got a _problem_ with that, Jones?!"

"Woah, easy, Mikey!" Raphael interjected, dashing forward to separate the two before something happened that he would really regret. He gently led his fuming mate back to Donnie's computer chair, sitting him down in it and rubbing lightly at his shoulder in an effort to calm him. "I-I'm totally cool with still callin' you a guy. J-just… Just be _careful_ , would ya?"

Michelangelo merely let out a low growl, eyes still glaring fiercely in Casey's direction, but he stayed put. Casey merely shrugged his shoulders, making his way back over towards Donatello. He'd retrieved what he was looking for, which was apparently some sort of handheld scanning device that looked as though it had been discarded from a hospital for being a little too out of date. He plugged the cord into a monitor on his work table, placing the scanner against his side at about where he'd checked on Mikey earlier for eggs, and stared nervously down at the screen, his eyes searching. Casey leaned over to get a peek at the monitor, at which point Donnie immediately turned the screen away from his prying eyes.

"D-do you _mind?!_ " he shouted, his face burning bright red. The human teen merely let out an amused chuckle.

"Dude, is that an _ultrasound?_ What, are you checking _yourself_ for eggs now?"

"A-absolutely _not!_ Ultrasounds aren't just used for _that_ , you know! It's the only was to be sure! Besides, I know how to keep my damn legs closed during mating season!" He'd blurted that last bit out before thinking, and the instant he did so, he felt his cheeks flush ever brighter. He shot a quick, nervous look over at April, who merely gave him a reassuring smile.

"So, what's the verdict, Donnie? Should I start buying you make-up and perfume for Christmas?" she couldn't help but tease lightly.

"N-no, that's really not necessary…" he mumbled in embarrassment, turning his eyes back down to the monitor in front of him. He continued searching for a long moment more before his eyes suddenly went wide. He ripped the cord from the monitor and practically tossed the ultrasound scanner across the room before turning back to the others with a nervous grin.

"Y-y'know, I think I'm with Mikey on this one. Wh-who _cares_ about a little bit of internal anatomy? I-I mean… I've always considered gender _identity_ to be _far_ more important than… th-than…" and that's about where his composure finally cracked. "Th-than a pair of _fucking ovaries!_ Goddammit, why _me?!_ "

Casey couldn't stop himself from bursting out into raucous laughter at that, turning back to April.

"Hey, Red! How does it feel to be hit on by a _lesbian_ turtle all this time?!" he teased between badly-stifled snickers. Then, he stopped, his eyes widening in sudden realization. "Wait… That could be _hot_."

The next thing Casey knew, he felt an elbow jab sharply into his side. He was left doubled over in pain as April strode past him to place a hand on Donatello's shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay, Donnie. We can still think of you as a guy, just like Mikey."

"Gee, _thanks_ , April…" he grumbled out sardonically, unable to tell her that this new revelation eliminated the one activity that he'd one day hoped to partake with her. Of course, there was always the hope that April was actually bisexual… He quickly shook the thought out of his head. No, those were questions for later times. He cleared his throat, turning back to his brothers.

"Alright, I'm checking you two next. I wanna make damn sure we all know who is what around here before next spring rolls around." He announced, pointing to both Leonardo and Raphael. Raph immediately held his hands up, backing away a few steps.

"H-hey, we all know _I'm_ a male at this point. Mikey wouldn't be pregnant otherwise."

Donatello gave him a nod, accepting his brother's logic, before turning his gaze to Leo. The eldest of the brothers froze, his eyes darting around the room as everyone seemed to turn and stare at him.

"I-I, uhhh… I'm pretty sure I'm a guy… I-I mean, I…" but he wasn't willing to go any further than that, his cheeks blushing brightly in embarrassment. Donatello sighed, beckoning him forward with a wave of his hand. Leo let out a reluctant groan, but eventually stepped forward to get himself checked. Donnie had retrieved the tossed scanner and now held it against his brother's side, prompting what had to be the single most awkward moment between the two that either could remember experiencing. Leonardo was suddenly uncomfortably aware that this was essentially a _female_ turtle peeking inside him with an ultrasound, looking for his sexual organs in a mess of unidentifiable gray shapes on the screen.

"Okay, Leo. Looks like you're the lucky one here. You're all male."

Leonardo released the breath he'd been holding in a huge sigh of relief. Well, at least there was _some_ good news here. Still, he wasn't entirely sure how Donnie could tell such a thing. He stared at the screen, tilting his head slightly as though trying to look at it from a different angle.

"Is that my—"

"Yep."

The two just sort of stood there for a short moment, exchanging awkward glances. They quickly looked away from one another, and Donatello let out a small cough against his fist to break the tension.

"Look, uhh… Why don't you and Casey go watch TV or something? I still need to do a proper examination on Mikey, and I don't need him stressing out because you two are in here gawking the whole time."

"Why do _we_ have to leave? What about Raph and April?" Casey asked, feeling a bit insulted by being pushed out like that. Donnie merely rolled his eyes at the human teen's ignorance.

"Raph's the father, so he needs to be in here whether he wants to or not. April already knows what Mikey looks like on the inside, and I'm probably going to need her help when it comes time for him to lay his eggs. I mean… Unless one of _you_ wants to be my assistant midwife."

Donatello had never seen the two of them move so fast. Leo and Casey practically tackled each other out of the way as they immediately rushed for the door, slipping out into the living room and slamming the door behind them. Donnie merely let out a small sigh, once again abandoned to tackle the more unsavory tasks of life on his own.

"Yeah, that's what I _thought_ …"

* * *

Michelangelo once again found himself laying on the examination table, a small whine of protest escaping him as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Duuuude, I'm still hungry! When am I gonna be done?" he complained, having finally gotten over the shock of his situation sufficiently enough for his appetite to return to him. He looked down at where Donatello stood next to his hip, that ultrasound scanner now pressed against his side.

"You'll be done in a few minutes, I promise." Donnie assured, his eyes never leaving the screen of the monitor. "Everything looks okay so far. Your pelvic region was pretty heavily affected by your mutation, but I don't see anything that'll give you problems during egg laying. I just wish I could get a good look at all three of your eggs. Two of them are in the way of the last one."

"A-and you're sure it's three? I-it couldn't be just the two there?" Raphael asked, clearly more nervous about the whole situation than Mikey was so far. Donatello shook his head.

"April said she sensed three, and I believe her. You should be so lucky that it's _only_ three. Box turtles normally have four or five, sometimes as many as eight."

"So, Donnie… A-about these eggs…" Michelangelo began tentatively, suddenly catching a bit of his mate's nerves. "Umm… H-how big are we talkin' exactly..?"

Donatello paused for a moment, looking down as though measuring the length of his baby brother's shell with his eyes and doing some rough calculations in his head.

"If they're proportionate to what they'd normally be for our species, I'd say… About nine inches long, maybe six inches wide. I'm guessing your main concern at the moment would be their width, huh?"

Mikey stared at Donnie for a long moment, his expression blank. He then held up his hands in front of his face, spreading them about six inches apart from one another. His eyes suddenly widened, his mouth hanging open in pure dismay.

"Th-that's fuckin' _huge!_ I'm not gonna be able ta push that outta me! Th-there's no way they'll fit!"

"They'll fit, Mikey. It won't be easy and it'll be the _farthest_ thing from pleasant, but you should do just fine." Donatello assured, giving him a gentle pat on the arm. Mikey couldn't help but cringe painfully at the thought, and he glanced up at Raphael for further reassurance. Unfortunately, the older turtle's face was still frozen in the same look of horror he'd worn himself a moment ago. Raph realized he was being stared at just a moment too late, but still attempted to put on a smile that he hoped would convey confidence.

"H-hey, if Don says you'll be fine, then you'll be fine." He said, though he wished he could make himself believe that. He apparently didn't sound that convincing, as Mikey let out a groan and let his head fall back against the surface of the examination table.

"Hey, Donnie?" April called out from where she was flipping through the book she'd been given to look over. "I don't mean to stir up any more negativity, but… Exactly _how big_ of a problem is it for a turtle to be impregnated by their sibling? It says here that it should kinda be avoided at all costs…"

"Oh, _that_." Donatello replied, not sounding terribly concerned. "Yeah, that's nothing to worry about. None of us are actually blood relatives."

April couldn't help but give the turtle a look as though he'd completely lost his mind.

"Umm… Aren't you guys _brothers?!_ "

"Yes, but only in the sense that we were _raised_ to be brothers. We're all different ages, so we can't possibly be from the same clutch of eggs, but the age gap isn't quite wide enough for any of us to have come from a second clutch by the same mother, except for _maybe_ Leo and Mikey. Either way, Mikey and Raph don't share the kind of familial DNA that would make breeding dangerous. I'm _far_ more concerned about what their _mutated_ DNA will do to the babies while they're still developing in their eggs. Having two mutants reproduce is an untested experiment, and I really don't like the fact that _Mikey_ has to be the test subject in this case."

Donatello switched off the monitor as he finished his explanation, setting aside the ultrasound scanner and turning fully towards Michelangelo as the younger turtle sat up.

"Which brings me to another very important subject I've gotta address with _you_ , and I want you to listen up too, Raph. There are not strong enough words in the English language to describe how super, extremely, _exceedingly_ careful you have to be for the next two months. You are officially banned from anything that could even _remotely_ damage your eggs. That means no training, no horseplay, no sex, no parkour, no skateboarding, and no going up to the surface _at all._ Understand?"

" _What?!_ " Mikey exclaimed in protest. "B-but… That means I gotta just sit down here and do _nothing_ for two whole months! That's no fair, dude!"

"Yeah, well it can _be_ unfair!" Donatello replied sternly, completely unphased by the puppy dog eyes his little brother was giving him. "I'm _serious_ , Mikey! This is for your own good! If one of those eggs breaks inside you, you'll _die_ if they aren't surgically removed right away, and I'm not sure I can do that with the equipment I have! Please, for _once_ in your life, do what you're told and _stay put!_ "

* * *

"Man, this sucks!" Michelangelo grumbled after he was finally released from Donatello's clutches, plopping himself down on the couch in such a way that made Raphael cringe.

"Dammit, would you be more _careful_ than that?! You heard what Donnie _just_ said, didn't you?!" he scolded lightly, to which Mikey folded his arms across his chest and grumbled moodily.

"Yeah, easy for _you_ to say… You still get to do all the things you wanna do!"

Raphael let out a sigh, but didn't argue the point further. He knew he'd be pretty upset if he'd essentially been grounded for two solid months. Of course, it wouldn't be all fun and games for him, either. He had to spend that time babysitting his mate to make sure he didn't do anything stupid before he had his eggs. He may as well be expected to part the Atlantic Ocean and walk across to Europe. Still, though he'd had no idea something like this could happen, it was sort of his fault. He made his way into the kitchen, calling out to Michelangelo as he rifled through the fridge.

"Hey, look at it this way; now you've got two whole months to play as many video games as you want. That's not so bad, is it?"

Mikey considered that point for a long moment. That was true. Donatello hadn't said a thing about not playing video games. What harm could _that_ do to his eggs? Well… Maybe he'd take it easy on the horror games, at least. He didn't want to accidentally pop one out while playing Five Nights at Freddy's or something like that. Could that even happen? He shuddered lightly to himself. Best not take the chance.

He'd been so caught up in what he'd been thinking about that he hadn't noticed Raphael sit down next to him on the couch. Well, not until he felt the box of reheated pizza being placed in his lap. Mikey let out a squeal of delight, leaning over to give his mate a quick peck on the cheek before digging in, suddenly remembering how hungry he'd gotten. Raphael couldn't stop a small smile from spreading over his lips. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.


End file.
